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The Desire for Perfection
Inside each of us there is a kind of experiential measuring stick, a sense of
the disparity between how we actually live and the "ideals" we hold so dear.
Some of these ideals are part and parcel of our own biology and essence. Some
are drummed into us from the outside by our family, friends, educators, society,
and culture. And some may even come from something higher in ourselves. Whatever
their source, however, these ideals are all mixed together with my actual
experiences and perceptions in this rather messy being that I call myself.
For most of us, even a momentary glimpse of the disparity between our ideals and
how we actually live arouses the desire for perfection, the desire to somehow
alter and perfect those aspects of ourselves and our lives that we believe would
make us better, more desirable, more creative, or more enlightened people.
Whether it is a desire for success, a desire for happiness, a desire for
spiritual development, or some mixture of all of these, our desire for
perfection gives us a potent sense of meaning and purpose in our lives. It sheds
a kind of magical light on everything that we think, feel, and do. It becomes
the springboard for many of our actions and re-actions, a springboard for
becoming what we think we should be.
As one begins to look at one's inner and outer worlds from the perspective of
"the desire for perfection," one begins to see just how much of our lives, and
the life of society itself, is bound up in this quest. How many relationships,
how many businesses, how many wars, how many religions, how many cults, have
been founded on this desire?
If one thinks carefully about the desire for perfection, one sees that with this
desire comes a particular relationship to time, a relationship in which
"tomorrow" and what I believe I am lacking assumes greater importance than today
and what I already have. If only I had more time, more money, a better job, a
better relationship, more peace, more and higher spiritual experiences, and so
on and so forth. There is obviously nothing wrong with wanting these things as
long as I am able to remember that the miracle of life is my very existence
right now, and that this nowness is forever complete. There is nothing else that
is needed—except?
In this regard, one might be tempted, as many serious teachers have been, to pit
the desire for being against the desire for becoming, for becoming more perfect.
One might be tempted to say that being, especially being in the moment, is all
that really matters. That all the rest is somehow a distraction or even an
illusion. Often these teachers are unaware that they have simply created a new
goal, a new state of perfection, to which we should all aspire. "Be here, now,"
the pundits tell us. So what could be a natural, normal experience, now becomes
an imperative, a goal, a new state of perfection. Now we measure each other by
our presence, or lack of it.
No, what is needed are not new definitions of perfection. What is needed is
simply the honest observation of what we actually are at any moment, of our
emotional and mental distractions, our contradictions, our psychological
messiness, our Gods and demons—in short, our humanness. What is needed is a
global perception, a perception of our real motives and impulses. There is no
perfection in this, and no imperfection. There is only love. The love that
accepts whatever it sees and hears and goes on loving and seeing and listening
because loving and seeing and listening are what human beings are all about. It
is this non-egoistic love of ourselves as we are, as we respond or don't respond
to the demands of the moment, that quite naturally takes us to the next moment
with its new demands and new responses and new perceptions. And who knows?
Perhaps if we were to live this way, willing to experience the living truth of
the moment, the perfection that we all seek in our heart of hearts, the real
ground of our own being, might suddenly appear.
Copyright 2007-2008 by Dennis Lewis
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